Be Careful Where You Fart
Next time you decide to “cut the cheese” think about the consequences, especially if you do it in New Jersey.
Dave Collins Jr. from Teaneck, NJ was charged with aggravated assault for allegedly pointing a gun at his neighbor for expelling loud farts. The offending eruption was so loud Collins could apparently hear it through the walls of his apartment. Collins pointing a gun at the flatulent fellow and threatened to put a hole in his head.
Collins, not being a scientist, deduced that placing a hole in the offenders head would create an additional ventilation duct for the noxious methane to bleed off causing squelched fart expulsions. Fortunately for his neighbor, Collins was arrested before the experiment was completed.
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You can tell from this article that the “Farting Fellow” was a young man. A wise old man, like my friend Larry Watson, has learned to be cautious when farting as too much exuberance when farting can produce the dreaded wet fart or even worse the lumpy fart both of which will repel people and draw flies if not delt with.